I live in Tampa Bay Florida
Fact: In the state of Florida, you literally have to go north to go south.
What does this mean?
It means that if you want to meet anyone who’s a true southerner, you have to go towards the northern point of the state.
It’s common (and almost a running joke) that most people who live in the Tampa Bay area of Florida aren’t Florida natives. I totally fall into that because I’m originally from Connecticut. Ask anyone who lives in Tampa Bay where they’re from and it’s a good bet they’re not from FL originally.
Facts and Myths about Tampa Bay Florida
Fact or Myth: Only old people live here.
Answer: MYTH. Crusties (as I call them) pretty much live in concentrated areas. Clearwater, for example, is full of crusties. Tampa on the other hand isn’t. You will only deal with crusties if you live near them. Otherwise they’re easy to avoid. And besides which, many are leaving the state because they’re all running out of money or just “passing on” as they say.
Fact or Myth: The living is cheaper.
Answer: FACT. The south is well known to have cheaper living and Florida is no exception. You will only run into high-priced crap if you’re specifically looking for it. Otherwise there’s plenty of good affordable living to go around.
Fact or Myth: Florida drivers are insane.
Answer: MYTH. I drove in Connecticut, Massachusetts and Rhode Island for many years before moving to this state and can say for a fact that Florida drivers are better. It is true there are more car accidents in this state, but this is only due to a higher population and the fact the state is big. Like anywhere, there is a flow to traffic. Florida’s flow does take getting used to but you should be able to learn it fairly quickly.
Fact or Myth: During the summer there is a torrential rainstorm almost every day.
Answer: FACT. For about 30 to 45 minutes every day during the summer there is a rainstorm. It comes in, rains hard, thunder and lightning are everywhere, then leaves as fast as it came.
Fact or Myth: Directions are gives in minutes and not miles.
Answer: FACT. Ask anyone directions and they’ll give it to you in minutes (as in time) and not actual miles. At first this confused me but it’s actually better because it’s more accurate. For example, if I said to you “The mall is 9 miles away”, you probably think that’s about a 15-minute drive. Wrong. It’s about a half-hour.
Fact or Myth: Florida has mosquitoes the size of golf balls.
Answer: MYTH. Tampa Bay doesn’t have any sort of mosquito so big it would scare you. In fact, it’s tough to even find one sometimes.
Fact or Myth: June is a terrible month to drive in Florida.
Answer: FACT. Little bugs called junebugs or “love bugs” are flying around everywhere during the month of June. It will absolutely wreck your car with bug-splat all over it. Plan on spending some good cash on car washes during that month. :-)
Fact or Myth: People in Florida are friendlier.
Answer: FACT. People are more laid back, more friendly and easier to get along with. The only thing that will keep you getting along with people is if you’re an asshole all the time.
Fact or Myth: Traffic congestion is bad.
Answer: FACT. Lots of people live here and the area is highly congested.
Fact or Myth: Temperatures routinely go over 100° F outside during the summer.
Answer: MYTH. The temperature at hottest during the summer is 96°. This is because Florida is a subtropical zone. It has been decades since the outside temperature exceeded 96°.
Fact or Myth: Cars last longer in Florida.
Answer: FACT. No snow, no cold, no salt, pleasant temperatures and no sand (unless next to the beach) means your car will instantly gain another 25,000 miles out of it just by being in this state. Put it this way, there are Corvettes here that routinely get 175,000 miles or greater when they would have rusted off their frames at 90,000 in the north.
Fact or Myth: Florida has a lot of pollen in the air.
Answer: MYTH. The Tampa Bay area (as well as the rest of the state) routinely enjoys a very low pollen count. See pollen.com and look for yourself.
Fact or Myth: Florida residents get discounts to all the theme parks.
Answer: FACT. If you live in Florida and can prove it (via means of driver’s license usually), you do get the discount for theme park tickets. Disney, Universal Studios, Busch Gardens and more or less all the rest offer some kind of Florida resident discount.
Fact or Myth: Florida girls look cuter.
Answer: FACT. You see more skin, bigger boobs, nicer butts, tans, skimpy clothes due to the warmer weather and everything in between. Yes, there are “made by plastic” girls in some areas, but generally speaking FL girls are cuter - of all colors, races and nationalities. I say “generally speaking” because like anywhere else in the USA, it’s all too easy to also find fatties, however the how-often-do-you-see-a-hot-girl ratio is bumped up several notches here. DRAWBACK: When you see all this hotness around FL, you actually become immune to it after a while. I’m not kidding.
Fact or Myth: Stupid shit happens in Florida.
Answer: FACT. There’s a reason Fark has a Florida-only category. Dumb shit happens here all the time. When you live in an area that has near-perfect weather almost all the time, people tend to get a bit weird (just like California). It is impossible to say what kind of weird stuff happens in FL; you have to be here and live here for a while before you understand it.
Fact or Myth: Mullets live on in Florida.
Answer: FACT (unfortunately). This hairstyle is worn mostly by white guys who fish. A lot. They usually own a boat, carry a surfer-style ‘tude, wear crappy beat-up clothes that haven’t been washed in at least a week and TALK REALLY LOUD. To these guys, the 80’s never died.
Fact or Myth: Florida has the most tornadoes.
Answer: FACT. However, the vast majority of them are small and weak. In other words, one could happen and you wouldn’t even know it, dismissing it as just “windy.” See Tornado Alley for a better explanation.
Fact or Myth: Road construction takes forever to complete.
Answer: MYTH. In the Tampa Bay area of Florida I have never seen road crews work so fast in my life - and that’s no joke. Whether it’s highway or regular road, projects get done quickly and on time.
Fact or Myth: Tampa Bay is full of nothing but Cuban people.
Answer: MYTH. Tampa Bay is a melting pot of many different kinds of people. Could be black, white, indian, middle eastern, hispanic, mexican, chinese, japanese etc. If you’re some sort of racist asshole that can’t handle the fact that Tampa Bay has people of different colors, don’t bother coming here.
Fact or Myth: Florida has no culture.
Answer: MYTH. Symphonies routinely play in Tampa Bay. There’s also trolley cars, historical points of interest and so on. Tampa Bay caters to all age groups and doesn’t pigeon-hole themselves into only attracting specific audiences.
Fact or Myth: Florida has some of the most scenic beaches in the world.
Answer: FACT. See for yourself.
Fact or Myth: Florida beaches are always crowded.
Answer: MYTH. There are plenty that aren’t. You just have to know where to find them.
Fact or Myth: Florida charges fees to get into every beach.
Answer: MYTH: I know of several that don’t charge a dime.
Fact or Myth: The Tampa metro has no trees.
Answer: MYTH. Towns in an around Tampa Bay do something most other states don’t; plant trees routinely. And not just palm trees. A very large effort is put forth to make sure there are plenty of trees. Even on some major roads like Busch Boulevard, there are sprinklers installed in the medians just to make sure there’s always some green to go around.
Fact or Myth: Florida has no hills.
Answer: FACT (mostly.) Florida is a flat state.
I’ll be adding some more fact-or-myth’s later. Want me to add one? E-Mail me at
rich@menga.net.
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