rules of engagement

My e-mail address: rich@menga.net

The rules of engagement

Short version:

  • Don’t be a dick.

Long version:

  • Be nice.
  • Be polite.
  • Use a spell checker.
  • Do not type in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.
  • Do not demand anything.
  • Don’t send or forward jokes.
  • Don’t send or forward chain letters.
  • Write a descriptive subject line (Tip: If you write just “hi” I most likely won’t read your e-mail at all).
  • No, I will not assist you in fixing your stupid computer problems due to your own stupidity. There are other places to help you with that.
  • No, I will not send you “tabs” for any music that I’ve created. If you want to learn how to play, do it by ear. If you can’t do that, I suggest taking up stamp collecting instead.
  • If you are e-mailing me because you’re trying to sell a very particular Buick, send photos of the car you’re trying to sell else I don’t give a shit. No photos = no response from me.
  • If you’re writing to complain about anything I’ve ever written, said or did - don’t bother. You can take your complaints and shove ‘em up your ass.
  • Do not do any of that hide-behind-the-keyboard bullshit. If you want to play Mr. or Ms. Anonymous, do it with someone else because I’m not playing.
  • Do not use internet slang. This means no LOL’s, OMG’s, OMFG’s, ROFL’s, LMAO’s or any of that other bullshit.
  • No, I will not give you my instant messenger screen name. If you’re too lazy to type e-mail, then I’m not interested in having a conversation with you.
  • If you’re looking to “friend me” on a social network, you obviously didn’t read the sidebar on the left.
  • All girls are required to attach a photo of their tits. No exceptions.