as a matter of fact, i do speak for america

Wednesday Apr 5th 2006

You encounter some odd conversations when you have the “web aware” thing turned on in ICQ. When non-USA people (of course) ask dopey questions, I give dopey answers that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Some Russian dude messaged me. Observe.

Note: This is an untouched transcript, save for some formatting so it’s easier to read.

Date and Time: 04/03/2006 05:42 AM You have received a message from Alex Hi! How are you? Can you tell me what are your associations with the words liberty and freedom?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:46 AM You have received a message from Alex Hallo! Can I ask you what are your associations concerning the words liberty and freedom?

Yep. He had to ask twice. Once wasn’t good enough.

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:46 AM You have sent a message to Alex chevy camaro

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:47 AM You have received a message from Alex What? Do you speak English?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:47 AM You have sent a message to Alex buick regal

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:47 AM You have received a message from Alex Sinonyms of freedom?

As everyone knows, nothing says “liberty” and “freedom” more than a Buick Regal, especially if it has air conditioning and power windows.

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:47 AM You have sent a message to Alex ford pinto

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:48 AM You have received a message from Alex So you see cars and they mean freedom and liberty?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:48 AM You have sent a message to Alex datsun 280z

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:49 AM You have received a message from Alex Hey what are you talking about?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:49 AM You have sent a message to Alex oldsmobile cutlass

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:50 AM You have received a message from Alex Come on ! Tell a couple of simple words not the names of cars.

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:50 AM You have sent a message to Alex dodge caravan

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:50 AM You have received a message from Alex Are you gonna call 1000 of them?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:50 AM You have sent a message to Alex jaguar xj-5

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:50 AM You have received a message from Alex :-D

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:50 AM You have sent a message to Alex isuzu pup

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:51 AM You have received a message from Alex :-D:-D

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:51 AM You have sent a message to Alex jeep grand cherokee

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:51 AM You have received a message from Alex :-D:-D:-D

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:51 AM You have sent a message to Alex alpha romeo milano

He then stopped, but started in again.

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:57 AM You have received a message from Alex Can you tell me where you live?

Uh, yeah. Sure, pal. Right.

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:57 AM You have sent a message to Alex cadillac eldorado

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:58 AM You have received a message from Alex Are you trying to get on people’s nerves?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:58 AM You have sent a message to Alex chrysler concorde

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:58 AM You have received a message from Alex Can you do it in alphabetic order?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:59 AM You have sent a message to Alex eagle talon

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:59 AM You have received a message from Alex GAZ

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:59 AM You have sent a message to Alex volkswagen beetle

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:59 AM You have received a message from Alex VAZ LADA

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 07:00 AM You have sent a message to Alex volvo XC90

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 07:00 AM You have received a message from Alex KAMAZ

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 07:00 AM You have sent a message to Alex lincoln continental

He then stopped.. finally. Good thing, too, I was running out of cars to name.

Yep, I’m an asshole.

And a darned proud American. I think I’ll go out and buy me a Buick Regal.

I’m actually happy this happened because it at least got my mind off of more immediate concerns for the short term.

menga

as a matter of fact, i do speak for america

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