Archive for September, 2005


Cut and tired

9/15/2005

I had the tires rotated on my truck today which I should have done about 7,000 miles ago. I also got my hair cut today. Had to decide whether to buzz it or go with something traditional. I decided to go traditional. Short back, short sides, medium top.

The hairdresser was awesome. She was about the same age as me, maybe a little older. She was funny in a good way; I could really chat it up with this girl. Cute butt and buxom. If I wasn’t moving I would have asker her out. She made me happy. That’s all I ask of anyone. :-)

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Behold, feet!

9/15/2005

Feet!

Yes, I know I need new sneakers.

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Black and blue

9/15/2005

Decided to change around the tempate again. Went with something a bit darker. A lil’ change a pace is good sometimes. The last template almost lasted a month and a half. ;-)

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Catch 22

9/16/2005

Bad news hit today concerning the house sale/purchase thing. This is going to be a really lengthy post.

Situation is as follows: Buyer decided to buy this house a while ago, however, buyer is now threatening to balk according to the realtor which means the closing may not happen. I can’t specifically list the reasons why the buyer might balk, but I can say it has absolutely nothing to do with Pop or myself whatsoever. If the closing does not occur on the date the realtor stated it would, he will be in breach of contract. If that happens, legal steps will need to be taken by Pop in order to make everything right. The only problem is that legal things just take a really long time, and to be blunt honest - I don’t have the time to wait.

That being said, it’s time for Plan B.

Plan B is that instead of moving into a new house, move into an apartment instead - solo. While it will prove to be a pain to some degree and bang me up fiscally, the personal freedom gained is worth it. The ends justify the means.

When Pop told me the news about the possible buyer balk I got real pissed off… not at him obviously, but at the buyer. After a few hours I calmed down and then explained to him Plan B as outlined above. He was obviously not too happy about it. From his perspective, he’s 70 years old and will lose the last person who could take care of him.

I constantly wrestle over what’s better for the family and what’s better for myself.

Consider the following:

–

I’m 30 years old.

I’ve been living at home all my life (forced because of fiscal reasons, keep reading). Some would say “You should stay at home and take care of your father”. Others would say “You’re still at home?! What the frig is your problem?!” Your answer depends what side of the fence you’re on concerning your own parents. The funny part is that both answers are correct.

Almost all my friends have been living on their own for years. And yes, that does count.

My father is the master of the guilt trip like many other parents are. When you accuse a parent of guilt tripping you they always deny it. Pop is no different.

“You go on ahead, son. I’ll… I’ll be okay. I’ll manage somehow.”

“Pop, stop with the fucking guilt trip.”

“What guilt trip? It’s just how I feel.”

ARRRRRGHGGHHGHHHH…

My father is also the best dad in the world. He would do anything for his son.

If I want any type of decent job here in Connecticut, I have to travel at least an hour to get to it. Several ex-girlfriends (of whom I’m friends with now) all remember massaging the knots out of my back from the morning/evening commute, particularly the one that was under the right shoulder cuff the size of a golf ball (or at least felt like it).

Connecticut is one of the most expensive states to live in.

If I stay here, I will crushed by debt. Note I didn’t say might be crushed, I will be crushed.

Pop is more than capable of taking care of himself. He’s not senile by any stretch of the imagination and is able. His finances will permit him to live comfortably. He has income. I don’t at present.

–

So what do you do.

If I leave, I’m “abandoning” my family - and if anything happened to Pop after I leave, it’s my fault.

If I stay, my fiscal status would be ruined in less than a year. Sure, Pop would be fine, but I’m stuck in Connecticut. Alone and miserable. Inevitably I would be stuck here with no way out for a long time.

So what do you do.

I have had lengthy discussions with this with my friends. All of them have said the same thing.

“Well… he is your dad, but, you have a life, too.” More on that in a moment.

Over the years I have been both chastised and praised for staying here as long as I have. Some thought I stayed here because I didn’t have the wherewithal to strike out on my own - which is completely untrue. Were that the case I never would have tried to leave in the past.

For eight years I’ve been trying to move out.

In the first few years, my ex-fiancee absolutely bled me dry financially and it took me a long time to recover. There was absolutely no moving going on at that time. It just wasn’t fiscally possible.

After I recovered I decided to try to run a business. It was successful to a degree but not enough to move. My finances took a beating for that, but I considered it valuable experience gained which I still use to this day.

After that, I got another job and set out on a mission to pay off all debts I possibly could with the intention of moving after reaching zero. All student loans for college were paid off. I paid off a car. All the rest I blasted towards my credit card and did really well. All this took years to accomplish.

The last job I had darn near killed me mentally and I had to quit. My debt-crushing mission had to be put on hold.

But…

I have the opportunity right now to move. When fortune smiled and it looked like the house was going to get sold, that was great. It meant I could move without feeling guilty about leaving Pop behind, but with this buyer balk I’m put in a heart wrenching situation. Stay or go?

No matter what choice I make, I’m darned if I move, darned if I don’t. The family, even though they understand why, would not prefer it if I moved. If I stay, I’m financially ruined in a short period of time and my life is miserable.

If the buyer balks for real, I have to go. I’m ruined otherwise.

– edit –

One more tidbit of info:

Leaving does not mean no one will check on him (as in visiting the house). There are friends of the family here who do that already.

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September Warming

9/16/2005

It’s muggy as the day is long outside. The air is acceptable and makes for easy breathing. If you can believe it, I’m still running the A/C. In September. That’s fugged up. Then again, New England weather doesn’t really surprise me anymore.

I went out earlier and bought a jug of All laundry detergent. I tried that Tide “Cold Water” stuff to see if it would actually clean clothes in cold water. It does, but it just doesn’t work as well as traditional hot-water washing so I switched back to All.

Pop called the realtor today. It didn’t look good. The realtor is now saying “give me two weeks” which to me sounds like the prelude to impending doom (i.e. the house not selling and being stuck here).

I hopped online and scanned the apartment classifieds. I found five I liked. I called the first two, no answer. The third one I called answered. The guy renting the place out was very nice and openly admitted he was very picky about who he rents his place to. That’s something I really liked because it means he doesn’t take bums off the street. Essentially he wanted no college kids and no teens. I told him I wholeheartedly agree because I wouldn’t want them around either in a living situation either.

The place is right in the middle of a major town in Maine which is exactly where I want to be. I want civilization, people and have work close by. The rent is a steal compared to anything you’d find around here in Connecticut. Heat and hot water included, hardwood floors, living room, kitchen and parking - and it’s got cable for fast internet all set to go - cool.

I scheduled a showing for next week. If I like it, I’ll take it. It’s totally possible that in less than two weeks I will be out of Connecticut and up in Maine - finally.

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…and there it goes

9/17/2005

From PostSecret:

rats

It’s offical - people are now starting to not give a shit about New Orleans.

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As I look up to the stars

9/17/2005

This post is going to sound a bit odd. Bear with me.

To the heavens with its deities above, I ask for an invocation of karma, but not for me - for certain others. For those who would act in unkind towards others for no good reason, let karma manifest itself to give others their due.

I know that sounded weird - but I have my reasons. That is all, carry on. :-)

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Making lemonade

9/18/2005

A shocking statistic: The majority of internal combustion engines used in most cars burn fuel at only 35% efficiency. Sad. What this means is that most of the fuel burnt never fully burns itself, resulting in emissions coming out the tailpipe.

A problem with engines has always been that the fuel has never been used to its maximum efficiency. This is more or less why pollution from cars exists to begin with.

But maybe not.

Enter into the fray a Hydrogen Generating Module. This is the best thing I’ve seen since… ever? It’s a small unit that attaches to any existing engine. It uses distilled water and some other chemicals to create hydrogen and oxygen through electrolysis, which is then fed into the intake manifold. So what does this do? It allows the fuel being burnt to mix with what’s created by the H2N-Gen and burn WAY cleaner - so clean that the tailpipe of a car doesn’t get hot even after an hour of driving. This means almost no emissions are coming out of the tailpipe at all.

Awesome.

This is a very real thing. Even if you’re not a car person, read all about it. This could very well revolutionize the entire car industry.

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Two things

9/21/2005

I have to take care of a couple things before I can move into my new apartment.

1. Get the power turned on.

2. Get the cable w/internet turned on.

In other words, call the power company and the cable company. I’ll do that later this morning.

After that I have to get all my crap together so I can get out of here.

Speaking of furniture, for the first month I’ll be sleeping on one of those inflatable mattresses on the floor until I can buy a bed. Don’t worry it’s not as bad as you think. Hey, at least my bed won’t be built out of FedEx boxes.

..or building a couch out of old Macs.

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Done and done

9/21/2005

Power will be turned on Friday as will fast internet. Sweet.

I opted not to get cable television. I went for internet only. That’s more important to me than cable tv. Maybe when I get a few extra bucks later I’ll spring for it, but right now it’s not necessary.

I decided to spring for the “premiere” internet package: 768k up and 6GB down. Hooooo baby that’s fast. My speed now is only 128k up and 768k down (I think) by comparison. I save fifty bucks a month by not having cable tv so it’s worth it.

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