Archive for September, 2005
9/2/2005
I witnessed a very wonderful and happy thing yesterday - school buses picking up kids to go to school. I was very happy to patiently wait behind the buses in my truck as they flashed their red beacons of warning… Hey, hold on there fella, I’m truckin’ kids to school here. You go right ahead, Mr. School Bus. You do your thing. I will wait.
One word: HOORAY!
This means that during the hours of 7am and 3pm-ish, most teen drivers are OFF THE ROAD and are sitting at a school desk doing their studious (heh) thing, leaving me free to drive the streets without dealing with those bass-thumping, sticker’ized cars the asshole teens drive while talking on their cell phones, blowing stop signs and doing other dumb shit on the road.
Ah, I love September.
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9/2/2005
I checked my server logs recently and some pretty cool stats came out for the month of August. The traffic has been steadily increasing compared to last month. I said to myself Lil’ ol’ me? Aw, shucks! People are actually reading my ramblings? Who’da thunk it?
Tech savvy people like myself are really big into web statistics and actually find it fun to scan over them from time to time. Up until now my primary stats program was AXS. I wrote about it here not too long ago. The only major “flaw” if you can call it that is that AXS does not read the Apache access_log file, rather, it keeps its own flat file database. The reason this sucks is because it will inevitably slow your site down - or stop it cold - if traffic gets too high. I’m using an alternative program now that reads the access_log file. This has sped up the site; a good thing.
I’ve also done some other behind-the-scenes work here… not that anyone cares, but like I said, I do tech stuff and I find it interesting.
I removed AXS completely which has sped up the site like I said a second ago. Speed is good.
I had a few IP addresses I was blocking on purpose due to a few individuals out there who pissed me off. Of course, those people just went over to friends’ houses or used AOL accounts to view my site anyway because Oh, my God what is that asshole writing about now… it must be about me. Uh, no, genius, thanks for playing. I cleared the blocked IP’s out. I had my fun with that. Time to move on.
Funny thing about the choice individuals I blocked who used other ways of getting here - they all have a really specific pattern when browsing pages and don’t even realize it. They usually go to the same posts every time they show up, and if not, they’ll go to any article title they think is about them. Of course, the articles aren’t about them. At all. Then they blast through the archives desperately looking for something about them - and find nothing. Dammit, I know this guy’s writing about me somewhere here. He probably has it in a secret spot that I haven’t found yet. Yes, that must be it. I must have secret sections of this web site where I make fun of you on a daily basis and laugh heartily at your expense. Keep looking.
Another funny thing: The idiots who were blocked believe every word of that. After all, it must be true, right?
The struggle continues.
The template changed last month. I like it so far, and I have to put that “so far” in there because every time I think I’m happy with what I got I change it around. I really gotta stop doin’ that. ;-)
The monthly archive pages have been changed to titles-with-links only. This is because those particular web pages were just way too huge - and I do have more than a few visitors who come here using dial-up internet, so I figured I might as well make things that load relatively quick on a modem with emphasis on the word relatively there.
That’s about it. I am happy for the traffic and that people read my stuph, such as it is. :-)
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9/2/2005
The Woodstock Fair is officially underway, not to be confused with King Richard’s Faire (and no, I’m not the King). My Pop is there as he is every year manning the Amateur Radio booth.
Before there was Foxwoods, before there was Interstate 395, heck… even before there were cars, septic systems and regulated electricity, the Woodstock Fair was there.
I decided several years ago to stop going to the Fair. From a very early age I realized…
This sucks!!
Before I get into why it sucks, the reason I even went to the Fair with the family in the first place was because my sister used to be a competing English Saddle Seat horse rider - not to be confused with Western riders. You can tell the English riders from other classes because they wear suits. No jeans, no cowboy hats.
Small note about cowboy hats: If there is a mixed-class event with Western riders and English Saddle Seat riders and the judge was wearing a cowboy hat - the English riders would never take first prize - ever. Very biased. I saw it happen many times. It was very common to hear “Don’t trust a judge in a cowboy hat” because you’d always lose if you were an English rider, guaranteed.
The Fair is the Cadillac of riding events around these parts. My sister had many grand prize horse riding ribbons to her credit, so every year I was lumped along into going.
I said the Fair sucks. Here’s why:
1. The human car wash
Yes, it’s disgusting as it sounds. Hordes of people all over the place drowning in sweat. No room to move so you’re always bumping elbows. It’s bad enough when you sweat. It’s positively disgusting when you encounter other people’s sweat.
2. It stinks
Everyone stinks (K-PAX, anyone?), and most places reek of sweat, fried onions, polish sausage, bad french fries, “doughboys”, corn dogs and cow shit. Lovely.
3. Hay, hay, hay!
There’s hay everywhere on the ground. In some places there’s a little. In others there’s a lot. Yes, I know the Fair is an agricultural event (said loosely) but sheesh… would it kill someone to sweep the ground every three hours or so?
4. Nothing is cheap
It used to be that shopping at the Fair was a good deal where you could get things for reasonable prices - not so any longer and hasn’t been for some time. Every vendor is out there to rape you for every dollar you have. Common response from vendors: “Hey, gotta make a living.” Yeah, you go do that - but not on my dime.
5. Technology is a joke
They have this building called the “Technology Building” at the Fair that they put in a few years ago. It sucks. It’s always sucked. There’s nothing in there worth looking at. All you see are crappy ISP’s hocking their wares. Maybe if they had an arcade game or two it would be slightly interesting. No such luck.
6. Dirt
You want dirt? You’ve found the mother lode. Dirt is everywhere. Right around noon time there is a fog of dirt that hovers like a cloud of doom over the entire grounds until around dusk. The staff try (and fail) every year to keep the dust in the air to a minimum… but this is agriculture, and ya caint have agricull-chuh wid-out sum dirt, Martha!
7. LOUD
Whereever there’s a place with more people than you can shake a stick at, you’re gonna have some noise. Add to that all the vendors, some of which have LOUDSPEAKERS at their booths so you can hear them, and the noise is darn near deafening.
–
So we’ve got a dust-filled, hay-strewn, overpriced, ear splitting bucket of stink, sweat and shit, and it costs you five bucks to park.
Sounds great! Where do I sign up?
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9/3/2005
Even though I know everyone is blogging about this, I feel it’s important to share my thoughts on Katrina, or rather destruction it left behind.
On the news last night I was a little more than shocked to hear that even the President himself admitted that help didn’t come fast enough. I’ve always believed we in the United States live in the greatest country in the world… but how is it that we couldn’t help our own in their most desperate time of need? How is that possible with the resources we have? Is it time for a reevaluation of our emergency response systems? These are probably questions that will never been answered to anyone’s satisfaction.
Regardless of what happened, things need to be taken care of. If you can’t go to N.O., you can always give what you can. Every little bit helps.
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9/3/2005
New Orleans before.
New Orleans after.
Note: Images are humongous. Dial-up people will be waiting a long time for them to load.
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9/4/2005
Darth: Luke!
Luke: What?
Darth: Get in here, the game’s about to come on the tube.
Luke: In a minute. The fondue is almost ready.
Darth: Why can’t we just have beanies and weenies?
Luke: Because we had that last night.
Darth: Oh, yeah.
(pause)
Darth: How’s that new job going at Toshi station?
(Luke walks in with fondue, sets it on the living room coffee table, then sits on the couch next to Darth)
Luke: Some jerk yesterday wanted his money back for a blown power converter. I said I’d be happy to replace it if he had a receipt. He didn’t have one and started giving me crap about it.
Darth: The nerve of that guy…
(Darth eats some fondue)
Darth: darn, this is good.
Luke: Thanks. So anyway we got into this fifteen minute argument that he’s going to call the senate business bureau and report me and all that. I’m just like what.. everrrrr…
Darth: (swallows food) Mmph. Yeah, that guy sounded like a pain in the ass.
Luke: Totally. The job has its good and bad days.
(pause)
Darth: Anyone coming over to watch the game today?
Luke: Yeah, Ben’s showing up. He’s been wanting to see the Hutts get pasted in the series.
Darth: That ain’t gonna happen. They’re favored three to one.
Luke: Yeah, I know. Just don’t tell him that.
Darth: (laughs) Right.
Luke: Later on Yoda’s coming over to make dinner after he finalizes his deal with the realtor.
Darth: He’s finally moving out of the mud hole?
Luke: Yep. He conned some guy into buying it.
(both laugh)
Darth: What’s he making for dinner if you don’t mind my asking?
Luke: Root leaf.
Darth: Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me.
Luke: Listen, I said I’d let him, and–
Darth: (interrupts) No. n-o NO. I am not eating that stuff.
Luke: C’mon. Root leaf won’t kill you. It’s good for ya.
Darth: Yeah, good and awful. It tastes like a shag carpet.
Luke: Pop, listen. He’s coming all the way from Dagobah. That’s a really long way. I’m not about to tell him “Sorry, Pop doesn’t like your cooking.”
Darth: (sighs) Well, I’m not gonna like it.
Luke: Yeah, but you will eat it.
Darth: I suppose.
(pause)
Darth: I never understood why you came back to Tattoine. This place is terrible. You should have gone to Coruscant.
Luke: (sighs) We’ve been over this…
Darth: Have you noticed it takes a freighter twelve more parsecs just to deliver mail here?!
Luke: Listen. I like the open atmosphere. I don’t like the city. You know this.
Darth: Hey, I’m just saying…
Luke: Yeah, yeah… just watch the game.
Darth: Frickin’ root leaf. I don’t even know why I come here.
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9/4/2005
I haven’t been to Toshi Station in a while. They write some really cool stuff over there. It wins a link on my links page although I should have put it there a long time ago. In the latest entry they mentioned some neato Nintendo stuff, like:
2080 Nintendo games sold for $8,100. That’s not a typo. See the link.
The NES belt buckle.
The Nintendo World Store, something I didn’t even know existed.
Video games are farking cool, ’nuff said.
Oh, one more thing. Be sure to check out TS’s downloads.
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9/5/2005
Today is a holiday so I figured I would beat the traffic and head to the mall to pick up a few items before the place was clogged with people.
The place was darn near dead - just the way I like it. I got a really awesome parking spot, nobody got in my way and clerks are way more friendly when they’re not under pressure. Did I mention there were no lines anywhere? It was great.
I picked up a few things. A ‘Sox cap, a cool notebook that shows a huge “Parental Advisory - Explicit Content” on it which I thought was different so I got that, and an Aries keychain. A -cool- one. I’ll have to throw up a photo of it later. I also picked up a few other odds and ends.
Things in the mall you’ll see that never change:
Teenager walking with Mom trying to look cool walking ten feet away from her so he gives off the appearance of being alone - but everyone knows he isn’t.
Old people. For some reason old people love the mall. No idea why.
Teen girls walking in pairs, giggling all over the place. Giggle here, giggle there, Oh my God did you hear what Josh said yesterday… giggle giggle giggle.
Mother walking baby with annoying seven-year-old daughter tagging along who is extremely annoyed to be there and always saying something to the degree of “But, mmmmaaAAAAAAHHHHHaaammmm!! Whywoo? AWWWWWWW!!!” (stamps feet) Little girls are ruthless. Satan trains them early to annoy mothers everywhere.
Video game store geeks (the employees) going back and forth about the latest tournament for whatever game they’re talking about. (Small side note: Guys who work in video game stores are probably some of the smartest people you’ll ever talk to.)
Some middle-aged guy in the lawn department with a wrecked flanal shirt, a John Deere or “Git’r'Done” hat, wrecked jeans and a face not shaven for at least a week staring at the shiny new lawnmowers and dreaming.
A pagoda of some kind in the middle of the mall that no one shops at. Teen girl is manning the pagoda, sitting on a stool and reading a book. She’s always reading a book.
–
Spencer’s gift shop still kicks ass.
Why is it that that Hot Topic turned into a doom pit? It should be called The place of overpriced trendy crappy clothes for pasty white goth people. I didn’t go in there. The entrance was too scary. Seriously, it looked like a doom pit.
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9/5/2005
This is the keychain I bought today. I’ve officially retired the old keychain because it’s got nicks and scratches all over it now. The middle of the piece where the Aries ram is spins around. It’s also not as big as it looks (note the fob right behind it).
If you’re interested in one of these, they’re at Spencer Gifts in the Auburn Mall. Even if you’re not interested in it, you should go to Spencer Gifts anyway. Lots of cool stuff in there.
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9/6/2005
I’m pretty sure the conversation I had on ICQ today was a secret message from the powers that be that said Dude, finish your screenplay… dammit. That’s definitely something I gotta do.
Before I post this conversation, I do NOT claim to be an expert on screenplay writing, but I have studied the proper methods of getting one together. If you are new to the craft, get Syd Field’s video (along with final draft if you can afford it). It is the BEST how-to on screenplays I have seen and Syd’s methods DO WORK.
That being said, here’s what happened. I’ve changed the guy’s name I chatted with to “that guy”. The following you will see is completely unedited.
One more thing. I’m pretty sure the advice I gave this guy is accurate, although I’m not positive. I was just trying to help him get in the right direction.
that guy:
hay can I ask you some thing
me:
if it’s a polite question, yes
that guy:
its about film making
me:
sure
that guy:
ok where to start I wont to be a film maker and I wonted to know
that guy:
how do you start you screen play
that guy:
I mean
me:
are you referring to the idea of a screenplay or how to write it
that guy:
not the format I know all that stuff I mean where and how do u put it on the paper
that guy:
like
that guy:
ok I have this moive in my head
that guy:
but I dont know where to start
me:
the basics are like this
me:
this is from syd field’s workshop http://www.finaldraft.com/products/sydvideo.php4 by the way
me:
you start with the end
–
This is my personal way of getting a screenplay done. My first idea is usually how it ends. I build the rest of it after that.
–
that guy:
ok
me:
meaning you know first how it ends
me:
then you develop the beginning and the middle
me:
the middle is the hardest part
me:
in classic screenplay structure, this is how it pans out:
me:
beginning, plot point 1, middle, plot point 2, end
me:
beginning introduces characters
me:
plot point one is where the story actually starts
me:
middle is “filler” more or less
me:
plot point 2 is the “twist” and the beginning of the ned
me:
the end is the resolution (guy gets girls, lives happily ever after, etc)
that guy:
ah right ok got u
me:
average movie is 120 minutes in length
me:
so,
that guy:
thats why im geting stuck
me:
each page is one minute of screen time
me:
the beginning should be around 15 pages long
me:
plot point 1 should be 20 to 40 pages
me:
middle is another 30 or 40
me:
and so on and so forth
me:
the plot points are your keys to the story
me:
that video i referenced will help you out a lot
that guy:
on the characters how much time should I spend on linking every one in the story ok the story is about this kid who has this gift for racing but
–
I could already see that this guy was getting too hung up on character development and didn’t have his story done. It’s also my personal belief that character development should come after your story. No story = too many disconnected ideas without structure.
–
me:
in this order, this is how it goes:
me:
get the story done first
me:
what i do is this:
me:
starting the screenplay with no story is wrong
me:
so,
me:
you write out a short story, maybe around 20 to 30 pages long
me:
then you start the screenplay based on your story
me:
your short story (which no one ever sees) is the “guide” for you
me:
it makes the actual screenplay 10 times easier to write
me:
when the story is done, then you work on character development
me:
trust me, when the story is actually finished, everything falls into place
that guy:
the father wont have any thing to do with it couse the grandfather who was a F1 racer back in the 60,s was all most killed in a bad crash and there is a riff between the father and the grandfather becouse he was never home hes was all over the world racing
me:
that sounds like part of a backstory
me:
to the main plot
me:
which would be plot point 2
–
I was guessing here as to what part of the story he was talking about. It sounded like something that should be near the tail. In actuality after reading this, this would be something right before plot point 2.
–
that guy:
so
that guy:
there is a fight bewteen the two over the boy who just wonts to race gocarts
that guy:
and the father will not have him race ever now
–
At this point he was flying all over the place with characters and wasn’t concenrating on the story at all.
–
me:
if you’re getting stuck on the character development, you need to go back to the story and fix it first
me:
meaning, Beginning, Middle, End
me:
summarize
me:
if you get too deep into it without the structure you’ll run into a wall
that guy:
the son gos to spend the summer with the grandfather on his farm where he finds out about the new race track in town there
that guy:
thats what I mean
that guy:
i start and im all over the place
me:
try this:
me:
can you summarize your entire movie into two sentences, such as:
me:
“A man loses his son, swears revenge against his killer, and kills him.”
–
That’s one sentence, but you get the idea.
–
me:
that’s a summary
me:
very basic, but that’s what one looks like
that guy:
hehehe im gonig blank
–
Hence the problem with getting the screenplay going. If you can’t summarize you’ve haven’t got anything.
–
me:
can you say what the end of the movie is? the resolution?
that guy:
his wis the big race of the top cart racers in the us
that guy:
wins
me:
now you develop -how- he got to that point
me:
did the main character have to prove himself to anyone?
me:
was there a love interest involved?
that guy:
its the act 2 thats killing me
me:
instead of doing act 1, 2 and 3
me:
do it as beginning, plot point 1, middle, plot point 2, end
me:
spreading it out makes it much easier
that guy:
ah
that guy:
ok I see
–
I assumed when he said he knew all about the formatting, he knew what plot points were. It seems he didn’t. So I explained it the best I could.
–
me:
like i said, beginning is nothing but the introduction of characters
me:
plot point 1 is where the story actually starts
me:
middle is an extension of plot point 1
me:
plot point 2 is the turning point leading to the resolution
me:
the end is the resolution
that guy:
its a bad and evil kind of story
me:
nothing wrong with that
that guy:
sorry good and evil
that guy:
the kid has to race with what he has
me:
to put the story into structure perspective
me:
plot point 2 could be “the big race”
me:
it’s the part of the story that leads it to its end
that guy:
I have to tie the son with the rich kid that has every thing
me:
that’s the beginning - introduction of characters
me:
all characters in the movie are brought in within the first 20 to 30 minutes
me:
story is what you need to focus on
me:
all the character stuff is in the beginning
me:
the rest is all story
that guy:
ok sorry to bug u I just wonted to ask some one that has done this
me:
no prob
that guy:
ok later bye
me:
bye
This guy gave up; he didn’t know what I was talking about.
If you’re writing a screenplay, the first and foremost thing you have to have DONE is your story. Story is always first and there’s no way around that. If your story is hung up in a bunch of disconnected ideas, you will run into a brick wall - just like this guy did.
It is a bad idea to just start writing lines of dialogue without knowing where to go next. The reason you see so many screenplays that say “Based on the book of…” is because the screenplay writer had a book in front of him. He knew the beginning, middle and end. It was all laid out. All he had to do was tell it in pictures. For your own ideas, you need to follow suit. Write a short story, then write it out in pictures. In addition, know where you’re going. The formula of beginning, plot point 1, middle, plot point 2, end does really work. Syd explains it a lot better than I can. ;-) Get his video.
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