Behold, my swagger

Thursday Jul 14th 2005

Soon enough I will no longer be employed as a help desk schmuck. As I sit here typing this away on my trusty laptop, I notice that all the knots in my back are gone. Stress is almost non-existent. I am calm and at peace.

Earlier after I got home from werk today, I did my usual thing, got home, went in the house, took the laptop out of my bag and plopped it on my desk and just surfed around some blogs and other web sites.. just reading up on stuff.. the usual hoo-ha. After a little while of doing that, reality set in.

Shit. I won’t have a job. How the hell am I going to make any money? What the hell am I going to do? Am I nuts or something?

Or something.

A friend and I were yapping on the phone earlier this week. We got on the subject of creative people and “The Madness”. This Madness goes a little something like this: Creative types are a weird fucked up breed. No matter what it is you create, whether you’re a musician, a poet, a writer, an actor, an artist or whatever, the creative thing is within you in some form or another. At times it will make you the happiest person on Earth. Other times it will drive you insane. This creativity makes you seem odd to other people who haven’t the slightest clue on how to create anything. Being that you have the creative thing and know it, doing anything else which is tedious and meaningless (like the job I just quit) causes you much more mental strife compared to everyone else.

As it is said in The Shawshank Redemption, “..some birds are not meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright.” The Madness in its twisted beautiful form will do anything to break the walls of the cage. Sometimes it will cause you to make some darn stupid decisions, depending on your definition of “stupid”.

Was quitting my job a stupid decision?

Fiscally, yes.

Mentally, no.

What matters more to me? Sound mind or fat wallet? This is probably best answered with another famous quote.

“If you haven’t got your health, you don’t have anything.”

Yes. Quitting my job was the right thing to do.

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