Top 10

Tuesday Jul 12th 2005

My top 10 ten list of things I will be able to enjoy once July 22nd rolls around (last day of the job from hell where at that point I will officially be unemployed for a while - by choice):

10. Shopping during the week

Best time to shop for anything anywhere: Tuesday at eleven in the morning or two in the afternoon. There are short (or no) lines, people are more friendly and you can take your time - the way you want to.

9. Saving about a bazillion dollars on gas by not commuting to werk.

A savings of at least $150 a month. Note: Try not to think about how much you spend just on the fuel alone to get to werk. That will do nothing but serve to irritate you.

8. Not dealing with the morning corporate cattle drive

Corporate cattle drive = Morning commute, a time when there are only two types of drivers on the road: Those who drive nice and easy because they actually got up on time, and those who are speeding along at 80+mph because they’re late.

7. Being able to go to the post office when they’re actually open.

For some strange unknown reason, the post office is only open after you leave for werk, and closed when you get home from werk. On the one day you have time to go to the post office (Saturday), they’re only open until noon.

6. Eating sensibly

One of the “joys” of working in an office is listening to your ass grow from eating crap all day. Where I werk, they made a point of putting a vending machine right inside the helpdesk area, chock full of candy bars, chips and other artery clogging crap. Cheap, easily accessible and fattening as hell. I will be very happy to get far away from that vending machine.

5. Using completely “unrestricted” computers

Computers in just about any corporate environment are so unbelievably locked down that you can’t hardly do anything of enjoyment on them. Any web site that has any cool factor to it is blocked. All instant messengers are blocked. Every single move you make on the network is monitored — and the shortly after you find something cool on the ‘net, the next day it’s probably blocked. Now granted, for smarty-pants types, there are ways around that, but still, restricted computers fucking suck.

4. Wearing jeans and t-shirts.. every.. single.. day

Everyone loves jeans, and so do I. Everyone also loves t’s. They are comfortable and never go out of style. Long live jeans and t’s.

3. Getting outside

When you’re in the office, you’re inside pretty much all day with no windows anywhere near you. This doesn’t exactly give you the feeling of joy seeing a sea of cubicles all day.

2. Time to write

Although I have been writing on a regular basis here on my site, my other writing projects have come to a screeching halt, because my brain is so fried I can’t think at the end of the day. I will genuinely appreciate time to think which equals time to write.

1. Sleeping

Ever notice that you only get to do all the cool stuff when you know you have to get up early in the morn’, only to wake up forceably by an alarm clock to regret it the next day? Seriously speaking, I love sleeping and I don’t take it lightly. It is the only time when your body has a chance to recharge itself. The less you sleep, the sooner you die.

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