Paper shredder workin’ O.T.!

Friday Nov 26th 2004

Today is an officially recognized holiday (for whatever reason) were I werk. So today is a paid day off. Woo-hoo. (grin)

Decided to go through my mail today which I haven’t gone through in about two weeks (yeah, that’s bad.. I know).

Out of all the mail I received, I may have gotten three legitimate postal letters. All the rest were the following:

- Platinum credit card offers with fake cards inside
- Magazines I don’t want but get anyway
- Existing credit card “special offers” and “upgrades”
- “Season’s Greetings” from existing credit cards
- Existing credit card checks
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Platinum credit card offers with fake cards inside

These are those mails you get with what you think is a credit card inside, but it isn’t. It’s a fake.

Magazines I don’t want but get anyway

Ever receive a magazine in the mail and say to yourself “I don’t remember signing up for this(?)” I get a few of these. Fortunately there’s no bill or subscription attached.. yet I got subscribed somehow.

Existing credit card “special offers” and “upgrades”

Yes, YOU can now upgrade your credit card to super-ultra-supreme platinum status! Except.. it’s just the same old card with discounts on hotels that cost you an extra five bucks a month and don’t increase your credit limit whatsoever. What an offer!! (duh….)

“Season’s Greetings” from existing credit cards

You gotta love those politically correct “Holiday Wishes” and “Season’s Greetings” cards you get from credit card companies. Their computer must love me very much. I personally would find it much more entertaining if I received a “Merry Fucking Christmas, asshole. Pay your bill.” Now that is worth reading.

Existing credit card checks

Ever get one of those checks for 10 bucks from a credit card company? I get these all the time. In addition, they include checks you can write on behalf of your credit card. BAD IDEA. (grin)

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From copiers to stock paper to circulars to directory listings to stuff you’ve never heard of.. it’s all there. (meh..)

—

I think I’m going to start using those postage-paid sign up envelopes the credit card companies provide and write a standard letter:

Dear Evil Credit Card Company,

I am not interested in any crap you have to offer. You are the bane of all existence and the demon spawn of Satan himself. What you are offering I have absolutely no interest in and never will. STOP sending me advertisements and/or offers and/or upgrades of any kind. You are polluting my post office box. Cease your evil ways because I ain’t buyin’.

Have a nice day.
Piss off.

Needless to say the paper shredder was working overtime today. I shredded about 40 documents and around 30 envelopes. I also shredded 4 of those fake plastic credit cards.

I suggest to anyone to go out to your local department store of choice and buy a paper shredder. Make sure you get the “cross shred” kind. I go through these documents I get in the mail and it is simply unbelievable how much personal information is there. Your full name, address, sometimes your SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, credit card information and just a wealth of information about you. If I didn’t shred this stuff, someone could easily root my garbage and spend around $25,000 on my behalf. Ya.. hoo.

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